One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
