I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
