you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This is the high leading the old right now
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
