GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We need to get me chipped asap
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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