I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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