This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
