i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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