Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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