I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
