hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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