Now he's lighting his socks on fire
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This is classic penis vs brain.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
