I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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