You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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