please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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