You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just pee around me
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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