I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
