We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
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