Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
