I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
