Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
