i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
