Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
is it fun? or sober?
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