Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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