watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
