areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
