the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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