do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
where am i from again
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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