does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
