I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
