Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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