do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
