she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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