am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
