I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
