What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i think im in europe. pls send help
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize