He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Please don't give away my fajitas
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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