Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You took a bar mat shot.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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