I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
