My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He passed out mid-signature
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize