Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
