someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize