if i can run in heels then i can drive
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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