Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
