Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
should my penis look like a turkey
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
