Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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