every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize