Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
