just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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