I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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