You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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