Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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