my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
