So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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