lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
