how can u be prego again
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
