i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
