I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
