seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
