Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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