i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
